to the Men

I have been thanking you individually, but it doesn’t feel like enough.
The women have been family and deeply generous nurturers to me for months,
and I need to write another love-letter to them,

This one is for the men.

There are men in this world who care.
It’s been like – I don’t know (?) you’ve known I am hurting (well, hell. I have tried to keep it completely silent, but I am just not good at that. I’m leaking out all over the place…I hope to do better at being responsible and keeping this under wraps.)

and you have been kind. You’ve been valiant, you’ve been protectors, and I will go so far as to say heroes.  You’ve quietly brought words of affirmation, support, music, love, advice, understanding,  – and I just want you wonderful men to know that I see you. I want the world to see you.

It must be a damned hard thing to be a man in this society.
And here you have been. Strong. Thoughtful.

Look, I’m not putting you on pedestals, because I did that once, and I was on a few pedestals myself, and I learned that it’s not something anyone can live up to – and it’s not a way to feel seen and loved for who we are, flaws and all-

Some of you, I have known for decades. Some, a few years. Some, I just met.
I know some of the times you’ve not been your best, and hey- I like you. We’re all evolving.

You’re still, right now, so valiant in my eyes.

You’ve come to someone who is at rock bottom, sitting in the rubble and looking around her like “okay. time to rebuild. The sky’s the limit when there’s nothing, I guess.” So fractured I feel I can barely remember why I’m here, most days – let alone setting about finding a new purpose, build a new future –

and you’ve given support. None of you asked for anything in return. None of you have been angry when I don’t call, and when i turn down invitations. Literally NONE of you have expressed anger over this!

Men can be generous. Men can be loving. Men can believe the best of someone. Men can be so loyal. Men can be gentle. Men can be understanding. Men can be patient. Men can be nonjudgemental. Men can be forgiving. Men can be supportive. Men can be caring. Men can be honest. Men can give their word, and keep it, or responsibly communicate if they can’t. Men can keep working at doing their best…

I just … am so full of gratitude for you today, men.  If I could give each of you a medal, I would.


Chewbacca needs a medal too…

That is all. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

4 thoughts on “to the Men

    • thank you – I keep wanting to delete things as soon as i write them, these days, as the mask is off and it’s deeply scary and uncomfortable. But I need to keep going with being vulnerable because it’s about all i can do right now. ❤


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