(This is just a response piece – and a question. Please feel free to answer in the comments. . What is love to you? (Because I am not sure- I think I might be wrong. I think I have created it to be more about work than perhaps it should.)
“Love doesn’t look like this,” the ex of my ex said in an article.
And I want to say “How do you know? Did you stay, learn, and do the work, or did you leave and chase the next bright, shining, happy feeling?”
What does love look like to you?
To me, it looks like choosing.
It looks like choosing again, when times are a little tougher. It looks like looking at that person – your person – and remembering the good things you love in their heart, when they’re acting like a seven year old. It looks like working to understand. It looks like tenderness when it’s difficult to soften. It looks like reaching for someone’s hand and remembering to connect when we’d rather be in ego and anger.
I’ve decided this is love. And I’ve decided that I’ve loved.
Love never was a “feeling” for me.
But one thing I’m learning in therapy as I do the work of choosing to love myself is :
Someone else’s experience is not mine to worry about.
If someone else decides that “these ten things will support you in the idea that it’s good to stop, drop, and roll,” is a really smart thing,
Then it’s a smart thing for them.
I’d be interested to hear what love looks like to you.
I do know I need to learn to let go a little more quickly. For sure. Some of those “20 truths” (whose truths? My inner gremlin snickers) May be very important for me…