“You attract to yourself what you give your attention and energy to, whether wanted or unwanted.” – Abraham Hicks
Re-evaluating the focus.
Are you focusing more on complaints or negative things that are out of your control, than you are on gratitude for the good things that are present, and the things you want in your life?
It takes a minor shift to re-focus the lenses and give no more energy to people or things that are draining.
Toxicity in my environment (neighbor burning wood smoke night and day) VS. doing what I can to stay healthy by nurturing my body with clean, nutritious, organic, whole foods.
People who are in psychic pain of some kind and choose unkindness VS. the many people in my life, home and community who are loving…my friends who make me laugh…
“Shoulds,” and More Societally Acceptable 9-5 jobs VS. Creating my own unique and incredible livelihood…
I know which I would choose to focus on, every time. But when you let the toxic or negative things build up, it’s easy to get into reactive mode and let your mind churn away on little mean, petty things that unhealthy people say or do, out of their own pain. Sometimes we go over and over the harms like we’re sliding prayer beads through our fingers… what if we shifted that, and replaced all those bad things with affirmations? What if we stopped trying to control others (which is part of what hanging on to perceived wrongs is all about) and started practicing radical self-care?
Let it all go, now…that is not your burden to carry. Do what you can to clear it out. Take a walk, and breathe it out to the trees. Release it. Do a mikveh… meditate…
Climb into your dirigible, sail above it all, and let your imagination soar.
Worry is just negative daydreaming. Sometimes it seems like adults have forgotten how to daydream…
What about practicing that again? No rules, no limits, no self-editing – your beautiful daydream is waiting for you to open the door, come outside and play.
There will *always* be people who choose to remain safe, and there will always be people who try to tie everyone around them down to their grey vision of plodding, “should”-oriented life. There will always be critical people – but one does not have to focus on these things. One does not have to try to please.
For heaven’s sake! Shake them off!
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
I remember when I began to (naïvely) tell people that Juilliard was my dream school.
“Better have a billion backup choices.” “No one *ever* gets in there.” “Why would you want that? You’d be better off doing something practical.”
I said I was going to get in, and I got in.
Doesn’t matter that my passion and drive shifted. Doesn’t matter that I am not focusing on acting right now– I use the things I learned at that incredible school every single day. (Alexander in boxing, you’d better believe it 😉
If you have a dream, don’t focus on the ones who want to chip away at it (even if – *especially* if- they are coming from a caring place, wanting to protect you from the hurt they’ve experienced. The fears, worries, concerns and attempts to stifle you, encourage you to dream smaller…all that is about them, not you.)
Focus on the dream. Focus on the desire. Focus on working toward it every day. Just a little every single day.
Do one thing every day that will bring you closer to, or hone your skills for, your dream- whatever it is you dream you can do. Begin it…and don’t stop.
That’s the secret… hone your body, mind and spirit; nurture your heart, and keep going.
This is a note to self. I’m pretty hard on myself in this arena, and I’m learning positive ways to re-frame the self-talk, through my life coaching (life-saving!) program. I’m learning to temper the inner Boxing Coach voice with much compassion and love…and I’m grateful for that Celtic fire in my heart that doesn’t give up.